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Posts Tagged ‘dreams’

So I was listening to a Mike Bickle sermon yesterday…nothing like a Mike Bickle sermon to turn your life upside down in a way that needed to be done.  I heard him say something that I’ve heard him say at least a hundred times.  He said when people he knew 20 years ago come to visit IHOP, they often say, “Wow Mike.  Your dream finally came true,” to which he always responds, “IHOP isn’t my dream.  IHOP is my calling.  A rich life in God is my dream.”  He said that’s what he daydreams about–getting closer to God, knowing Him better.  He said that if he approached IHOP as if it were his dream–his goal in life–then he would burn out very quickly.

Like I said, I’ve heard him say that a hundred times before, but this time it struck me like an arrow of truth flung straight into my heart.  I have been confusing my calling with my dream.  The source of this mix up goes back several years.  See, for many years I longed very deeply to be married and have a family, and I mourned almost daily because I wasn’t sure if that would was possible because of some personal matters.  Those who know me well already know what I am talking about.  Then, as God began to put the desire for adoption on my heart, I grieved even more deeply because I didn’t know at the time that these desires were coming from Him and I didn’t know if they would ever be fulfilled.   Therefore, these desires of my heart that were placed there by God began to feel like the dreams of my heart.  God was placing His calling for me on my heart and I confused that calling with personal dreams and desires.

Because of this history, from the time I married Ed I have felt like my dreams were finally coming true.  And that worked for awhile.  However, with this upcoming adoption, I have begun to feel severely overwhelmed.  Check out my previous posts for evidence.  I even began my business with the idea that I had to work hard to make my dreams come true.

I was wrong.  Adoption isn’t my dream.  Being a wife and a mother is not my dream.  These things have never been my dream.  They are my calling.  My dream has always been a deep, satisfying life in God.  That’s why I’ve made the decisions in life that I have made–decisions that seemed foolish and wrong to those around me–tough decisions–risky decisions.  This beautiful life in God is my dream…and if I never adopt a single child…if Daniela is the only child I ever have…my dream is still being fulfilled.  I will pursue my dream with all my heart.  It’s up to God to fulfill my calling.

Whew!  I feel like somebody just lifted a weight off of my shoulders!  This is so much better.  I can breathe again.

So what now?  We’re still pursuing adotion.  We’re still planning to buy a house and a car.  The Funky Lamp isn’t going anywhere, but I am considering some changes concerning my business.

Having priorities in order is so liberating!

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